More or less

I wouldn’t say I’m bad at the moment but what I can say is that I feel a constant inner tension that doesn’t go away. All the time I try to find out what the reason could be and above all, what I can do to change it:

Should I…

…do more stuff? Or less?

…exercise more?

…get less things done and leave more of them for another day?

…contact my therapist more often?

…work on less different issues than I do at the moment?

…think more? Think less?

…practice more skills?

…work less?

…speak more about what’s going on inside?

…talk less?

I don’t really know what to do with myself and feel as if I was giving some beloved people more headaches than I want to and showed them much less affection than I wish I could. Inadequate. That’s what I feel like. I’m not even sure cutting would help. Until now I’ve always just known it makes me function better, now I can see a little that this can’t be the price. But what else should I do?

Maybe it’s progress that I’m asking these questions. It’s just that some answers would be nice as well.

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