I wouldn’t say I’m bad at the moment but what I can say is that I feel a constant inner tension that doesn’t go away. All the time I try to find out what the reason could be and above all, what I can do to change it:
…do more stuff? Or less?
…get less things done and leave more of them for another day?
…contact my therapist more often?
…work on less different issues than I do at the moment?
…think more? Think less?
…practice more skills?
…speak more about what’s going on inside?
I don’t really know what to do with myself and feel as if I was giving some beloved people more headaches than I want to and showed them much less affection than I wish I could. Inadequate. That’s what I feel like. I’m not even sure cutting would help. Until now I’ve always just known it makes me function better, now I can see a little that this can’t be the price. But what else should I do?
Maybe it’s progress that I’m asking these questions. It’s just that some answers would be nice as well.