In the course of my last post I was asked whether I am an introvert. As I couldn’t really answer that question there was a short conversation in which me and the other person decided that we must be “talkative introverts”. It was one of those moments where I’m made aware just how little I’m able to make clear statements about myself and my character. I just didn’t know – on the one hand I’ve often been told I was a chatterbox on the other hand I can only recover when it’s quiet and I’m on my own and I tend to see people as demanding very quickly. It’s also one of those Ego-State-things all over again as there are people who know me as a noisy, colourful person who’s always laughing and others know me as the bookworm who always leaves parties early (if even showing up there at all).
It just makes me feel insecure when I can’t even answer a basic question like the one whether I’m an introvert or not. Generally I try to avoid stuff about my character by saying that I love reading (one of the few things that are constantly the same for me) but at the end of the day that’s not a characteristic…but no matter what else I could say about myself, it always feels like I only tell a half-truth, lie, deceit or pretend.
It’s frustrating and so typically boderline that I feel like a cliche really.