Running

Even though I went skiing every winter as a child and my family did lots of stuff with me outside I’ve never been a huge fan of sports. I learned riding a bike rather lately and somehow I was always the last to tag along behind the others completely out of breath when we went hiking.

When I was a teenager I discovered dancing – it was something I really liked and I always said it was okay because I didn’t notice how I made an effort due to the music 😀
My partner and I have been going to dance classes once a week for the past two and a half years now so I stopped doing Jazz on my own as two courses are just too expensive. Then I went to yoga classes for a while which felt good but it’s one more evening that’s blocked. As I start going to therapy this week, work full-time and feel stressed by too many appointments anyway, I don’t want another fixed thing where I “have to” go even though that would make it easier to actually do something.

This is why I decided to give running another chance a few weeks ago. The first few tries failed as I stopped and felt frustrated after trying to keep up with someone who has been doing that for a while for twenty minutes just like that. Additionally my problem was that a panic attack means being breathless and my body somehow inversed that to: being breathless = panic attack. So as soon as I was out of breath or my pulse quickened it was not long before I ended up crying on the ground. That wasn’t so much fun which is why I’ve been avoiding running for a long time now.

This time I started veeeeery slowly even though I felt stupid: running for 3 minutes, walking for 2 and so on and I’ve been increasing it over the last few weeks. On Sunday I ran for half an hour straight for the first time and felt very happy. It feels good to be outside and breath fresh air after a day in the office and now that my boday stopped protesting in pain it’s even a little fun 🙂
I have not turned into one of those people who suddenly feel inspired and think running is the answer to everything – sure there is evidence that it can help people with depression but I can’t imagine jogging can replace therapy. Nevertheless I note that I’ve been feeling better since I’ve been doing this twice a week and above all it’s a huge success for me personally even though what I do might be something other people take for granted.

Conclusion time – what is running right now for me? Practical time-wise, pleasant (never thought I’d ever say that), free of charge and something I can do with my partner (thanks for the support!).

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