Again and again I’m grateful for the fact that I discovered blogging. I have always been looking for something I’m good at, a way of creating something, a talent if you like.
I attended a school that focused on singing and acting and even though I got through the entrance examination I never felt like I was able to keep up with the others. I never was happy with what I could do.
After that it was a school for graphic stuff – drawing, photography and so on. Once more I got in (later on I was told that I was the last one who passed the entrance examination – the worst of the talented) and it was the same all over again: I was okay, I really tried but I only got as far as hard work and ambition can take you. What I missed was this thing you can’t learn, I’m calling it talent here. I knew exactly what I wanted to create but the result never satisfied me.
Later on I started dancing and I made quick progress – only so that I had to realize it could never be more than a hobby after all. I could talk about dozens of examples here.
Someday I stopped searching. I felt like I was alright at everything (my grades said so too) but not outstanding at anything. It was my borderline longing for a clear identitiy that made me hope for a talent that could show me a way and a sense of who and what I was. Instead I hid my light under a bushel for years and worked my socks off in jobs you basically don’t need any passion for.
An English course (I’ve always been really good at English but never wanted to become a teacher) reminded me of the fact that I could play on words by writing even better than I could by speaking (I dare say I have a quick tongue most times). Then I started reading blogs or rather watching vlogs in the beginning. I have to thank my partner for helping me try it myself – I wouldn’t have dared as I’m not really familiar with social media and feared that there would be lots of technical effort :D.
The rest is history – I think writing is what I’ve been looking for: A way of expressing myself and above all something where I like the result – I’m really glad that my texts find an echo but the nicest thing is that I like them as well, much more than I ever liked my songs, pictures and choreographies 🙂