Part 4 in a series about the time between my diagnosis and the start of this blog. Notes from my “Loose-screw-logbook”, the predecessor of my blog.
- Too vulnerable – decide to take sick leave for a month. Doctor says something like “Pull yourself together!” but still agrees. Huge support from my boss
- Topics in therapy: Why am I more strict with myself than with others? Am I not a little sorry for the child I was? Why do I protect others from things that happened to me? Am told to try autogenic training.
- Have to find strategies in order to get back to work!!!
- Beautiful days with and lots of support from my favourite people
- No suicidal thoughts at the moment
- Therapist urges me to “finally” talk to my relative about inicidents she calls abuse and doesn’t understand when I tell her I’m not yet ready
- Plan to talk to some people about all this in the christmas holidays
- Have to learn that gratefulness doesn’t necessarily mean you have to love someone
- Have to see the medical officer due to long sick leave but he is very nice and understanding
- Therapist tells me to reflect less as I prevent myself from feeling anything that way
- Talk to some family members/relatives on christmas – some conversations great, some satisfactory
- Autogenic training is great – am very relaxed during and very awake after it
- Try to let out anger on a punching bag for the first time – Very difficult for me
Concerning this time I have to rely on my notes completely. I hardly remember anything and have no idea what I did that whole month. Shopping for groceries was a challenge for a whole afternoon so I probably really didn’t do that much at all…