I’m so annoyed with the way I feel right now. That’s because I still have a lot of work to do and no time for things I’d like to do in my free time and all in all nothing about my situation has changed since last week. And yet, I’m coping much better, I don’t feel so desperate and powerless anymore. Why? Because I screwed up last Friday. I guess that it won’t leave permanent scars but it was enough to make me “okay” again. In my head I have much more space for useful things were there was only one word a few days ago: Cutting.
I certainly know that I’m not supposed to do it, think about it, that I’m supposed to use skills and be sensible and everything. And also that it doesn’t solve any permanent problems. But once again my experience is that I can concentrate better and have more energy after occasional incidents which makes it hard to feel the way it’s officially not good for me.