I’m so annoyed with the way I feel right now. That’s because I still have a lot of work to do and no time for things I’d like to do in my free time and all in all nothing about my situation has changed since last week. And yet, I’m coping much better, I don’t feel so desperate and powerless anymore. Why? Because I screwed up last Friday. I guess that it won’t leave permanent scars but it was enough to make me “okay” again. In my head I have much more space for useful things were there was only one word a few days ago: Cutting.

I certainly know that I’m not supposed to do it, think about it, that I’m supposed to use skills and be sensible and everything. And also that it doesn’t solve any permanent problems. But once again my experience is that I can concentrate better and have more energy after occasional incidents which makes it hard to feel the way it’s officially not good for me.


3 thoughts on “Paradox

  1. You are on your way and you are doing fine. Please don’t give up.


    The following will be kind of an advice. If this is not time and place you want to read one, please skip it.

    Just accept yourself, including mistakes. Which could go like “Even though I cut again, I am loving and accepting myself” (or, at least “accepting myself”). Sounds a bit wired maybe. But its worth it. You are okay the way you are right now and accepting that will help you to relax and go further in the helpful direction.

    Do you know about EFT (Emotional Freedom Technic)? This is, what I would do if I was in your shoes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, thank you so much for your kind words and your advice which came exactly at the right time!
      I’ll try to take it and I’m even able to see that it’s okay to have relapses…it’s just this feeling of everyone thinking it’s a big drama that makes me a little uncomfortable because for me, it’s alright (hope this makes the slightest sense xD)…
      To be honest I’ve never heard about it – I’ll do some research 🙂 And thanks again for your encouragement.

      Liked by 1 person

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