Finding from a desk drawer #2

This is a very personal text I wrote in a very emotional state when I was about sixteen. It might seem a little melodramatic but that’s how I felt…I guess this blog is exactly what I wanted to say about writing back then…

And she wanted to write, just write and not stop until all the pain in her heart had floated from her fingertips onto the white paper. And when she would be done, when all the words would have been written and she would sink onto the table with exhaustion, yes only then she would be free for the first time. Then she could open her eyes to see a new day and greet the sun as she never had before. And she could breath freely and smile without any reason.
Nobody knew but she had already given up everything a human being can give up, save from her dignity, her dreams and her pain. And this pain was what was still holding her. It tied her to this life, it kept her from going on. It made it impossible for her to be hugged. It made it impossible for her to laugh and sing; those blows that came suddenly in moments where it nearly felt like she could forget about it. And she knew everything would be better by the sea, everything would be better when the waves would sweep away her ties and she would break down in the warm sand and then, then she would cry, for the first time cry as she never had before. And she would see the beauty of life and the beauty of death and not mistake them for seperate things because one is not without the other and both exist at the same time.


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