Everything’s a little strange at the moment. I’m not depressed but getting up and laughing are not as easy as they used to be. I don’t have a very strong urge to cut but every time I drink alcohol (which I’ve never ever done in an abusive way – no matter what borderline clichès tell you) I nearly lose control and grab a knife…don’t know why that is, never has been that way before. I don’t feel this extreme rage that sometimes gets the better of me but I definitely am irritable. And what’s getting on my nerves the most: I worry all the time. I worry that my cat is unhappy when I go to work in the morning. I worry that my partner could be angry with me for no particular reason. I worry when I get on the train because I could trip or embarass myself in another way and have people look at me. I worry that I’ll not have enough books for the weekend or that I’ll make an irreparable mistake at work. I worry that all the people I love will leave me. I don’t like worrying when there’s no reason for it. I even get angry with other people who worry about things that are just not worth it so can my head please, please stop this bullshit?