One of these days where I’m actually convinced that I’m going crazy. It’s nearly so absurd that it might as well be funny. I tried to get rid of the urge to cut all weekend long which didn’t really work but at least exhausted me so much that I could sleep deeply.
Today I woke up, went to work. And since then I’m annoyed because I’m confused because I’m sad because I forget things due to anger because of the fear because the fucking panic attack should just hit me because I still want to cut because I want to scream because everyone should leave me alone because it is SO DAMN LOUD INSIDE MY HEAD!!!
My life consists of capital letters, everything’s extreme. Even silence is loud. But, hey, somehow I’m heading towards the point where it all doesn’t matter and I’ll laugh hysterically just to get really, really empty. I’m about to leave, soon I’ll see everything from the outside because my body will protect itself and then a tremendous silence is waiting for me.