Stable

I haven’t written anything in the last few days as there was nothing significant happening BPD-wise. Sometimes I’m empty but not so much that the world slips away from me. I think about cutting but not hard enough for me to take a knife into my hands. I was close to having a few panic attacks but the fear never overwhelmed me, nearly as if the breathing exercises actually worked. Sometimes I got angry but it was never bad enough to stop me from seeing anything else.

I guess that means I’m stable. When I started seeing a therapist I was told that BPD isn’t curable (in contrast to the depression and panic disorder) but that it is possible to reach a stable state in which all this feels like a scar that is visible but not an open wound anymore. Today I actually believe that, it’s “just” about keeping it that way now. I’m grateful as life is much less exhausting when you’re wired “normally” 😀

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2 thoughts on “Stable

  1. Great! That’s good news! I guess I’m going through a similar situation.
    I am feeling more like myself lately and I dare to stand up for myself again. The anger attacks are as good as under control and I feel stable. I think stable is the perfect term here.
    It did cost me my relationship, I had to let go of it since it was failing. It was a buddhist thing to do, though it still hurts. But it’s not the end of the world for me anymore. So I guess I will have more time to study Buddhism and write my blog and focus on myself again.
    You’ve used the right words ti describe your situation again and it is inspiring.
    Stay stable 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad that you are okay, though I’m very sorry to hear about your relationship – even if it was a buddhist thing to do, I guess it’s tough…
      Thank you for your kind words, stay stable as well and all the best with your studies and writing 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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