I haven’t written anything in the last few days as there was nothing significant happening BPD-wise. Sometimes I’m empty but not so much that the world slips away from me. I think about cutting but not hard enough for me to take a knife into my hands. I was close to having a few panic attacks but the fear never overwhelmed me, nearly as if the breathing exercises actually worked. Sometimes I got angry but it was never bad enough to stop me from seeing anything else.
I guess that means I’m stable. When I started seeing a therapist I was told that BPD isn’t curable (in contrast to the depression and panic disorder) but that it is possible to reach a stable state in which all this feels like a scar that is visible but not an open wound anymore. Today I actually believe that, it’s “just” about keeping it that way now. I’m grateful as life is much less exhausting when you’re wired “normally” 😀