I would love to entrench myself on my couch with a few blankets and some tea and a movie without anything bad happening. It’s one of those days where everything’s too loud and I feel like I’m drifting off more the more people I encounter. Tired of people so to say. It’s also a day where I can’t bear tight clothes that pinch. Where I like socks better than shoes and everything’s just exhausting. After every conversation I take a breather and try to gain strength for the next ten minutes. I am so in need of some cuddling that I used up all the contingents my partner and cat had for cuddling. My head feels somewhat hazy, as if I took some meds, just that I didn’t. It’s the sort of day where I speak in a low voice and wonder how it’s possible that people don’t realize how I don’t really fit into this world. A day that starts getting good as night falls and everything’s settled and even the city traffic seems to calm down.

And it’s annoying that I feel this way after a beautiful weekend with favourite people and card games and spoiling the cat. I don’t understand it, this is just supposed to happen when I don’t care for myself but I don’t know how I could treat myself much better than in the last few days. By the looks of it I still believe that I can decide if I am well just by sleeping enough and stopping things that are harmful for me but apparently it will never be this easy with that pretty little head of mine…

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