Some weeks ago I confronted a relative of mine with his inappropriate behaviour when I was a child. More about that:

Since that we’ve spoken on the phone a few times and as hard as it is to believe it will stay like that, those calls were really okay. Like a cautious approach that could lead to a respectful way of communication; neither did it trigger me nor were there any accusations or expectations, and no disappointment either. And now we have an appointment in ten days. I don’t know what I can expect of it but I do know that it will be an important step; as I wrote about everything I couldn’t talk about in that letter, I don’t have to explain anything so I’ll be able to just focus on what the future could be like.

This letter took the load off me, I haven’t had a single flashback in the last few weeks (and before that I had to think about it nearly every day) and I haven’t been haunted by nightmares. So I don’t care that much what our appointment will be like because freeing myself from this uncomfortable silence was so good for me and in the meantime I nearly dare hoping that all this might heal my family a little as well.


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